Why We're Having a Fourth Child Even Thought We Can't Afford It

Shortly after I had given birth to our second child, my husband was approached by a co-worker, given a slap on the back and told, "Way to go! You got the perfect family--a girl and a boy, so you get to be done already!"  My husband came home and he and I kind of chuckled about it, because we knew this wasn't "our" perfect family.  We always knew we wanted a third.
           Well, we got our third, and believe me, the past seven years have been no walk in the park.  My husband and I got married pretty young and immediately started a family, having our three children in fairly quick succession.  It has been hard.  My pregnancies have all been tough--I'm one of those gal's with morning sickness the entire nine months.  My babies have not been easy:"colicky" as newborns, and then, due to what the pediatricians and myself can only guess to be an underdeveloped digestive system/acid reflux, refusing to sleep through the night until well over a year of age.  As the kids have gotten older there has been the added commitment of homework, soccer, dance, as well as the stress of dealing with and worrying about the little "issues" that each child invariably has, no matter how wonderful they may be.  And, of course, there's always the finances to consider.  Kids are expensive and our financial resources are certainly limited, as is the space in our three bedroom home.  Don't get me wrong, my husband makes a good, reliable salary as an engineer, but we remain a single income family--it shouldn't be hard to imagine that my earning potential as a Liberal Arts graduate with no work experience would be quickly negated by the cost of childcare x 3 (besides which, I believe in staying home with my kiddos and think they deserve the best of me--but that is a topic for another post). The result is that money must be carefully managed, luxuries are few.  So why then, are we currently expecting a *gasp* planned fourth?
              Well, throughout all the sleepless nights, diapers, whining, squabbling and vomiting of the past several years, the moments that have made it all worth it, the moments that have, in fact, brought me the most pure happiness that I have ever experienced, are when I see my children playing together--developing a relationship with each other, learning to love each other.
               I come from a family of five children.  The rewards that I have experienced as such are innumerable and invaluable to me.  Moving around the country, having even some really fantastic best friends come and go, my siblings have always been there for me, even into adulthood--in fact I would say that our relationships are actually way better now that we are all mature adults.  In my own life (and I know this may not be the case for all), I have found my relationships with my siblings to provide the most rewarding and the most reliable friendships, while requiring the least amount of maintenance/drama.  We may live halfway across the country from each other, but the bond is still there and I know with certainty that it always will be there.
               And so I answer the question (because many have asked): Why are we having a fourth?  To be honest, the decision was tough.  We thought and prayed long and hard about it.  I even asked my husband, "Can we provide for a fourth?"  His response, "We can always provide less."  He was referring to material possessions, of course, because we knew that really we would be providing more--more personalities, more laughter, more love, more family, more friends.  My kids will always have their siblings, and--I believe--if the bonds are created while they are young, nourished and encouraged in a family devoted to "Family", they will always have loving, committed, supportive "Friends".  
             So I decided to give my kids the gift that I thought would be most valuable to them.  My gift to them won't be fancy vacations, expensive gadgets, or a sporty car when they turn sixteen.  My gift to them will be each other.